Category: Don’t!

At least not yet anyway. The brand new Mayfair hot spot has a lot of kinks to work out before making it in The London Checklist’s must-do category. Let me take you through my night at Black Roe.

My first impression of the place was that it was stunning. The design is modern and fresh and they get a gold star for having perfect dinner lighting. Lighting is one of the most important elements in achieving the right ambiance, yet this is where so many restaurants slip up. An over-lit dining room is enough to ruin an entire dinner experience in my opinion. 

I loved the decor at Black Roe. The walls and ceilings are painted a dark charcoal and brought to life with black and white poster photography, an old-school letter board menu, and a neon sign. While the neon sign looked really cool, I don’t know when it became mandatory for every hip, new restaurant to have one. Filament bulbs are also a little played out, but the glass bowls that held their pendant lights saved them from being another cliche. The bright bar at the back of the restaurant was beautifully illuminated and looked like a light at the end of a charcoal-painted tunnel. I really do not have any complaints about the restaurant’s interior.



We entered the restaurant and were brought to our corner booth. The way they placed the four of us was a little odd–three of us crammed into the booth, and one person opposite us in a chair. It felt like we were a panel of judges  interviewing our friend, so we immediately asked for an additional chair to rectify the odd placements.

Once officially seated, I took stock of the restaurant and its patrons. Black Roe is a very sceney place, so do think twice before bringing your parents that are in town or anyone that’s hard of hearing (the acoustics were horrible). It’s more the type of place where finance guys can take their ladies or where ladies can hope to meet finance guys. Take from that what you would like…

So, once seated, we all found the service very slow. The food came in a timely fashion with nice spaces between courses, but my drinks were always empty.  Keeping cocktails and waters full is Serving 101. To fail at that means your staff is lacking major training or you need to add a couple bodies.

The food was good, though. They call themselves a Hawaiian Poke restaurant. Poke is any type of a chopped up, raw fish salad. We tried several for our starters, including a couple that were on the house after the kitchen sent out the wrong ones. They were all good, but my favorite by far was the ahi poke. We then enjoyed the lobster mac and cheese. That dish gets an A+ for presentation (the entree is baked inside of a lobster shell) and also gets kudos for the hefty portions of lobster it included. The actual taste, though, was good, but not great. Then we shared a delicious beef tataki entree and some of the chicken and sole. 

Dessert was not so great. The doughnuts were so-so, not very springy and served with weak sauces. A creme anglaise or custard would have better suited the doughnuts than the tart lemon dipping sauce it was served with. The real dessert fail was the Shake and Bake. A type of a milkshake topped with baked meringue, it was really bizarre. The inside tasted like melted ice cream whipped with egg whites that you could slurp up through the meringue with large straws. This is meant to be a fun dessert to share, but to me it was very contrived. After you slurped up the strange, syrupy milk, you could crack the meringue layer with a spoon. Then at the bottom of the oversized goblet, was a hodgepodge of ice cream toppings like chocolate and coconut chunks. I was not a huge fan, but gobbled it right up, because after 14 dishes between the four of us, I was still hungry! I guess there was not a lot to the small raw fish and rice bowls. 

After the meals, the service proved to be a challenge once again. We were constantly fighting for the attention of the servers, still for drinks, and then eventually for the bill. The server ended up running our cards for the wrong amount and then had to recharge us for £20 each couple, which added another level of confusion to everything. These small issues add up and make the answer to the question I ask myself each time I categorize a new experience a no-brainer. Would I dine here again? The answer is simply no. Maybe next year when they’ve gone through their growing pains. But right now, for £100 a head, I wouldn’t want to chance having a so-so experience again. 

Black Roe
4 Mill Street
London W1S 2AX

Unless you’re a 13 year old girl on a first date, or part of a group of young boys, I don’t really see the point in going to The London Dungeon. All the other age groups did not seem to enjoy what it was bringing to the table. Let me elaborate by going through the different age ranges present during my visit that day to The London Dungeon.

Babies. By no means is it appropriate to bring a baby to a dungeon of murder themes. It is dark and loud, and while the baby may not understand what is being explained and suggested around it, we don’t know that for sure, and it could end up brewing a serial killer. Not to mention the fact that after waiting in the morbid long line and meeting a few dark characters, the first part of the journey is a ride that a baby won’t be allowed to go on anyway. Then you will just find yourself waving goodbye to the rest of your family as they hop on the murder raft and who knows where you and your baby will have to go and wait.

Next. Very Young Children. This age group, let’s say from 2-8, will not understand that The London Dungeon is simply make believe and intended to provide excitement–not permanent nightmares and scarring. It was not fun for me to watch children, too young to be in there, shaking, crying, and getting very interesting lessons on Jack the Ripper murdering hookers, etc.

Now, we hit the sweet spot. Pre-teens and early teenagers. Let’s say 9-15. This age group would love the underground Central London attraction. You enter a spooky lair that leads to costumed characters reliving some of London’s scariest times. You go through Guy Fawkes foiled plans for Parliament, Jack the Ripper’s heinous crimes, Sweeney Todd’s appetite for murder, and much more. This journey includes a dark and eery water ride and ends with a simulated hanging. It is a very colorful and interactive experience for the right age group. The tween visitors will find it believable, but (hopefully) not damaging to their psyches.

Now, for my final assessment and target group for myself and my blog. Adults. I think I can even group late teens into this one. As an adult, I cannot consider this a must-do experience. In the beginning, you have to wait in a long, humid line that has very questionable smells. I would have liked my simulated hanging at that point so I could have been done with it right away. But, no, you wait. Finally you’re taken through an area with glass and screen cages filled with sleeping rats. The young workers are screaming in character the whole time and bratty kids are screeching and I just felt bad for the poor rats. They didn’t ask to be on display in such a noisy, exposed environment. 

After the rats and the rules of the dungeon, you begin with the aforementioned water ride. This is also where you meet with one of the first characters whose job is to tell you that you’re going to die and she actually gets paid to be rude. My 21 year old sister that has an aversion to authority would be a perfect candidate for a role like this. I could see the tween dungeon-goers being intimidated and entertained by all these costumed characters, but I just saw them as little twerps I wish I could knock out. The water ride itself was cool though. I went with my dad who was visiting (fulfilling dreams of my childhood for more daddy-daughter days, I guess), and we both thought the experience would have been great if they made it into just one big water ride. 

After the ride, it was an endless room after room journey of little characters that droned on way too long. The props were not of the highest quality, giving us  the feeling like we were in a child’s funhouse.  The entire experience was similar to my issues with the Sea Life London Aquarium. These London attractions are like the budget versions of what I have experienced Stateside and at Disney World. 

The ending of The London Dungeon is just weird. You are sentenced to a hanging and then go on a ride that simulates your death by having the floor suddenly fall out from under your seat. It was really morbid and unnecessary, in my opinion.

I did, however, buy the picture at the end because it will be a hilarious memento for years to come. The time my dad visited me in London and we went to this weird bootleg dungeon, and then rode the hanging ride, where they secretly took our picture. Fabulous.

After purchasing our keepsake, we made our way to one final room–my favorite room of the trip. An old-time bar that actually rewarded you with a beer or a cocktail. I don’t know if it was their version of heaven or an apology for a bizarre two hours, but either way, a flat beer purchased with a token never tasted so good. 

I made it through The London Dungeon and sort of lived to tell about it. Take what you want from my bold opinions and enter The London Dungeon at your own risk.



The London Dungeon
Riverside Building 
County Hall
Westminster Bridge Road
London SE1 7PB

This one was a huge disappointment for me. I have been a Les Miserables fan since I was a little girl, belting out the strong soundtrack in the bathroom mirror with a hairbrush, throughout my early teen years. I was so excited to see Les Mis in London, because I find London has some of the best theater experiences. Most of the theaters are so small that there isn’t a bad seat in the house! All of their prices are pretty reasonable and they have smaller crowds, but the facilities are still decent enough for easy trips to the bathroom or the bar. Usually…unfortunately, none of this was the case at Queen’s Theatre. 

My problems with this experience were split evenly between the show itself and the venue. The venue, Queen’s Theatre, is  (so far) my least favorite theater in all of London. My view was obstructed the entire time between the large balcony overhang above my head and the short woman in front of me. You would think it would take a tall man to obstruct my view, but since there was barely a slope in the flooring, all it took was a below-average lady. I was constantly twisting and turning to see around her. If the seats had been staggered, and I could see between two people, that would have been better. Anything would have been better. There was also minimal leg room. My 6’4″ father had a hard time, especially when guests tried to pass through the row to their own seats. 

The temperature of the theater was also a problem. Probably the hottest theater I have ever been in. I thanked God for (and my dad who purchased) the Playbill that I was able to use as a fan throughout the whole show. The second intermission hit, I ran up to the bar just to seek a cooler climate. I couldn’t even have a cocktail because I feared the eventual dehydration during Act 2. I ordered a bizarrely small orange juice, and then another one, and a bottle of water to bring to my seat. The bar and bathroom crowds were not too bad, but that’s really the only good thing I have to say about Queen’s Theatre.

The actual show itself was just okay. Les Miserables has a soundtrack of powerful songs that require very strong voices. While the cast’s voices were obviously good, no one (maybe Eponine), really knocked it out of the park. It didn’t help that the understudy was filling in for the lead, either. For a show as long as Les Mis, you really want a top-notch performance throughout. Bottom line: Skip Les Miserables at Queen’s Theatre and catch it in New York.

Les Miserables
Queen’s Theatre
Shaftesbury Avenue
London W1D 6BA

Even though I was due for a Don’t, it still doesn’t feel good. All these places mean well, but they just keep missing the mark. SEA LIFE London Aquarium is no exception. It could be spectacular, but it’s just a budget-level aquarium in the center of tourist traps. 

Located right next to Westminster Bridge on the South Bank, by the London Eye, you’ll find SEA LIFE London Aquarium. It’s advertised as part of the top London attractions that can be visited with the London Pass or discounted when purchasing at least one other top attraction. It makes sense to purchase several if you are interested, since one attraction costs around £35, but it is only £10 more for each addition.

I knew the aquarium would be busy because it was part of this deal and heavily advertised, but it was way more crowded than I expected. It may have been due to the lack of organization. The ticket line was long and out of the 5 registers at the front, only one was open. Once through, we had hoped the guests would have been staggered from the single cashier, but nope, we were surrounded by groups of tourists without social graces and loud zig-zagging children.

The crowds would have been fine if the content was a little more impressive. I’ve been to a lot of aquariums, and this had the smallest selection. You won’t see any marine mammals which could be due to their lack of space, indoor and outdoor. The fish you do see are the usual tropical species, a couple guest stars, and some small sharks. These are seen in dark spaces and through murky, hazy glass. I found it very dark and dingy. Coming from the great New England aquariums, this definitely seemed third-world. If they upped their interiors a little bit, made it more interactive, and actually replaced all the missing signs describing the fish, they would be better off.

I did like the skate and ray pool that was open at the top. This offers the closest views of the fish without the obstruction of glass. But I had seen this many times. I  l have even been to some aquariums that let you pet the sting rays! 

The last issue I had with the SEA LIFE London Aquarium were the constant humanitarian messages. The need for awareness is great, but the boldness and darkness of the signs I was passing in the halls were not what I paid for. I paid for a positive tourist experience. One sign said “A SHARK IS GETTING SLAUGHTERED AT SEA RIGHT NOW.” I do not think the word “slaughtered” is very appropriate for a child or adult’s to see on a vacation activity. Save that for Speaker’s Corner. 

Even though it wasn’t the greatest place ever, I was glad I checked out the SEA LIFE London Aquarium. I did have fun, feeling like a kid, there with my dad visiting from the States, but I surely can’t recommend this place over any other aquariums. If you haven’t been to an aquarium before, though, then it can be your starter aquarium? I’m trying. Good luck.

SEA LIFE London Aquarium
County Hall
Westminster Bridge Road
London SE1 7PB

A girl and her hairdresser have a very sacred bond. It’s a relationship that can take a long time to acquire and develop.  Finding the right hairdresser is a bit like finding a husband. You have to go through a lot of frogs and sit in a lot of chairs before finding The One. When you find The One, you don’t let him go. You make time for him in your schedule, listen to his advice, and treat him very well at Christmas. 

But, unfortunately, sometimes even the greatest relationships are torn apart. There are a number of reasons why, but for me, it was a move. I had been with Jesse for a number of years. There were many others before him but no one stuck. I had even been called a “chair tramp” at one point in my life. Could you imagine! I didn’t mean to hop around from salon chair to salon chair, I just needed someone who could fulfill my simple request. I wanted a cut that looked great at the salon and when I did my hair the next day. I always looked great leaving the salon. The same affect those skinny mirrors have on your body when you try on clothing at a store. But, when you get home, you may be looking at something completely different. 

After my first cut with Jesse, I came out of the salon looking like a bombshell (as usual), but the shape of the cut finally stayed awesome. Even a month later with an air-dry! I had found my person! With him I was comfortable and willing to experiment with maybe a few lowlights, some bangs, and even a subtle ombré. It was a very exciting time in my life. Then, having to leave Jesse for London was almost as hard as leaving my family and friends. It was a huge loss and I knew I would be taking backwards steps to the “chair tramp” days of my life to find someone new all over again! This long, painful journey is what has led me to this giant DON’T!

Gina Conway Aveda is a rip-off. Plain and simple. It is not a true Aveda salon, but instead a “partner”, which takes existing salons and allows them to flash the recognizable Aveda name by their commitment solely to Aveda’s product range and their branding. This name could work wonders for the salon attached to it. Aveda has had a great reputation. At one time I used to love Aveda. I used to think their hand cream was magical. Now I don’t want any of it. Anywhere. Ever again.

With my Ayurvedic medicine fascination, you would think the inspired Aveda brand would be right up my alley. That’s partially why I did love it in the beginning of my beauty regimen life. Now, I view Aveda as a sellout with nothing holistic going on–especially at Gina Conway Aveda on Westbourne Grove. 

Gina Conway Aveda is an uncomfortable experience from beginning to end. You walk into a busy salon that does not have proper air conditioning. It is so hot that you immediately shed your jacket and watch them shove it into a messy closet. If you’re getting a facial, you are brought downstairs to a dark, humid basement. There, an unfriendly and aggressive aesthetician attacks your face in an impersonal manner. There’s no friendly banter. There’s nothing. Just a one-hour time slot to get her job done, and then on to the next victim.

If you’re getting a haircut, you are brought down to another area of the basement for a wash. In this area, they try to be original by having you sit first in a chair for a massage. You get to select the scent of the oil they use and then the massage lasts about 30 seconds. The theatrics of it all is laughable and a waste of time. I would prefer a longer massage at the sink like a normal place. But then again…that’s only if their sink works properly. For over a month (!) the salon did not have any hot water!  Their boiler was broken and the unprofessional staff told me that Gina was taking forever to fix it and that I should complain because it would increase the chances of getting it fixed! She then, at the end of the wash, offered to boil water. It was a little too late. What I would have really liked was a heads up or perhaps a discount for the inconvenience.

But nope, no discounts at Gina Conway Aveda. And all the services come with higher price tags. Cuts average £75 between all of their stylist levels. Facials average about £87/hour. These prices would not seem so harsh to me if the salon was a comfortable temperature, with a friendly staff, and you know, HOT WATER. 

Another gripe I have with the salon, is the constant upselling. I could never trust anyone there. Behind every hair or skincare tip was always another product to buy. The facialists never even gave consistent suggestions–constantly offering different products and trying to switch my skincare regimen monthly. They made me feel like just another number that they could squeeze dry.

Seriously, don’t waste your time at this salon. At Gina Conway Aveda, you won’t feel special or relaxed at all. You’ll feel taken advantage of. London is a huge city with a ton of other hair and skincare options. Stay tuned while I explore them for you!

Gina Conway 
Aveda Lifestyles Salon
62 Westbourne Grove
London W2 5SH

Just don’t. I wish I could end the review here, but that would not be fair to you or to Mike’s. While I can appreciate a long-term establishment that is able to stay afloat in such an expensive, touristy area with high turnover, like Portobello Road, I just cannot put Mike’s Cafe on any sort of “must-do” or even “so-so” list.

I had to try it out of curiosity and for the sake of the blog, but had a feeling it would be on my Don’t list before I even stepped inside. Located on one of the intersecting streets to Portobello Road, you can’t miss it. Mike’s Cafe is the little diner with the bizarre oversized black awning that you actually have to duck under to get inside of the restaurant. Why anywhere in London wants to completely block out the sun is beyond me. Once inside, you are faced with the strangest hodge-podge of bad designs. There is horrible toile-like wallpaper, a few disco balls, some shabby chic mirrors, Union Jack-covered chairs and wall hangings, retro tiles and refrigerators, and really bad caricatures of the Royal Family.  All of this craziness surrounds plain, cheap wooden tables that barely fit into the place.

 

 
We walked into the diner and asked for the only table they had available. It had yet to be wiped down, so the waitress walked over with a rag and quickly swiped the crumbs onto the floor, before showing us to our sticky seats. We were also given a giant bucket that barely fit onto the table that held grimy bottles of ketchup and other condiments. So far I was not impressed, but the place was packed, so I hoped that meant that the food was going to be amazing.

No such luck there. In the U.S., we are blessed with some of the most amazing diners in the world. Hell, we invented the diner. So, maybe my standards were a little higher than Mike’s could handle. But then again, how hard is it to make some decent eggs? We ordered basic omelettes that came with a side of chips (which I don’t understand here…the whole eggs and chips things) and some salad. The salad was also really strange. Undressed, mixed greens and then a scoop of coleslaw. Exactly what you want first thing in the morning with your eggs, right? And the portions were so unnecessarily enormous that I wondered if that was their way of apologizing for everything else? The large portions and the cheap prices.  Who knows? But all I know, is that I will not be going back and I will never understand why so many people were in there in the first place. Please take my advice on this one, and spare yourself a really pointless meal.

Mike’s Cafe
12 Blenheim Crescent
London W11 1NN

I wanted to be able to offer Kouzu, the grand Japanese restaurant on the busy corner of Grosvenor Gardens, a spot on the must-do list, I really did. So many elements needed for a successful restaurant were right there, at Kouzu’s disposal. I saw the potential right from the beginning of the night, but then slowly watched it go from very high to very low.

The ambiance at Kouzu is nice. The amazing lighting suspended from the high ceiling that spans the two levels is truly a work of art. It’s also what drove me to Kouzu in the first place. After driving past the location numerous times when heading towards Hyde Park, my eye was always caught by the twinkling confections that were just beyond Kouzu’s glass door. I added it to my personal must-do list, only to eventually be able to spare you by listing it as a don’t.

The interesting location and light led to a split-level restaurant. What was once a grand building with high ceilings has been modified to allow for an entry level bar area, as well as a make-shift upper dining section. A staircase was built to lead to a platform and short walls to nestle within the existing walls of the main building. It is actually quite interesting the way they were able to make this loft without offending the beauty of the existing structure and its floor-to-ceiling windows. Sure, there were a couple things that they could have changed. The sushi bar lighting was so much brighter than the tables 5 feet away that it almost gave me a headache. I felt like I was eating in the dark watching an illuminated stage. Keeping the entire restaurant at an even level and allowing the sushi chefs to see with lower lights would have been much more pleasant. And I get butterflies are their thing, but the sparkly artificial butterflies perching on the window-treatments was overkill, and frankly a little cheesy. But all in all, the restaurant had clean lines and a fine degree of decorative awareness.

Upon our arrival, we were greeted by the host that led us upstairs to our table. Our table wobbled, like some do, and the host picked up on it without being asked. After fitting the base with a business card, he politely left us to peruse the menus. After noticing that no one had yet come to our table after a couple minutes, he came over and brought us some water. I was so impressed with how attentive this man was. I later realized he was probably constantly working overtime to make up for a very poor staff. If he was our server, I bet our experience would have been very different. After the host left the upper-level, I watched the servers stand around the computer area, not even glancing in our direction. My husband and I had time to pick our cocktails, our appetizers, our entrees, presidential candidates, fantasy football teams, the names of our unborn children, and the way to achieve world peace. Then still, no one came over. Eventually we were served, but that is not an ideal way to start a dining experience.

The drinks came quickly, which I appreciated, and the food was not far behind. Our starters included salted edamame and wild mushrooms in honey butter. I had also ordered a spicy California roll to start with, but that was not included in that first round. I figured the server was spacing out the dishes to include another round, otherwise known as wishful thinking. The starters and drinks were delicious and went down quickly, and I guess too quickly for the slow waitstaff. By the time that same slow waitress came back over to us, we had empty appetizer plates, empty cocktail glasses, and empty water glasses. We ordered two more drinks and waited for our next round of food. The spicy California roll came along with my husbands over-sized sashimi entree. I was very confused. Did this mean that my grilled salmon entree that I was meant to eat alongside my husband was not coming or that I would be eating alone when my meal arrived 20 minutes later. The latter is what happened. After reminding the woman a couple more times that we needed some water and that our cocktails were once again empty, she cleared my husbands empty plate (I insisted he start without me) and the plate that had held what was supposed to be a sushi roll appetizer.

After asking a couple times, and being faced with unapologetic responses, my grilled salmon finally showed up. So there I sat, eating alone, with my full husband watching me and feeling bad that a £200 dinner was such a fiasco. We then waited forever again for the plates to be cleared. We ordered desserts which came pretty quickly and were even given two complementary glasses of dessert wine. I am not sure if they recognized our frustrations or the restaurant does that for its patrons, but it was too little too late at that point. I had already decided I was never coming back and that fact is what lands a restaurant on the don’t list.

The saddest part about a story like this is that the food was actually delicious. Almost incredible. But even if you have the best intentions for your establishment, employing an incompetent manager and staff will overshadow whatever cuisine you serve. Such a shame.

 

Kouzu
21 Grosvenor Gardens
London SW1W 0BD

I have to admit something. I am a cat person. And I may just borderline on being a Crazy Cat Lady.  I am okay with this and my husband pats himself on the back for marrying me and saving me from fully earning that cat-obsessed title. I love all animals, but cats have a special place in my heart, so when I heard about Lady Dinah’s Cat Emporium–a cafe where you could have an afternoon tea surrounded by cats–I booked the first date they had available.

Lady Dinah’s concept is ingenious. They offer an afternoon tea experience with all of the accoutrements traditionally offered at a proper English tea, but with a twist. Some people say “If you’ve been to one tea, you’ve been to them all.”  Well, Lady Dinah’s is truly the exception. Lady Dinah’s made going to another tea seem not only exciting, but brand new.

Located in Shoreditch, I expected more of a relaxed cafe vibe, and less of a posh tea setting, but I was unprepared for what I was faced with. For Seinfeld fans, the term Bizarro World pops into my head. The waitstaff were hyper and cat-obsessed, and jumped into any conversation we were having to talk about the cats. I made a comment to my girlfriends about one cat on the floor, and out of nowhere, the waitress popped her head into our circle and decided to give us the entire rundown of where Mr. Whiskers likes to be tickled and which cat is his girlfriend and what he likes to do with his Sunday afternoons. It was really freaking weird. We all were taking bets on if we were surrounded by people on uppers or if we were actually on the inside of a cult. No. Exaggerations.

The cats themselves is what brought the weirdness to a whole new level. There are clearly defined rules around the cafe which are in place for good reasons. You can’t enter without having first washed your hands. You cannot wake or touch a sleeping cat. You can’t give any of them food. All reasonable requests that protect the safety and wellbeing of the creatures. Still, after all of the precautions taken to protect these cats, I still couldn’t help but think something was wrong with them. Never in my 31 years of living and growing up around cats have I seen so many of them in one room with no energy whatsoever. Most were asleep and oblivious to the people around them, but even the ones that were awake seemed to have no awareness of the situation. It seemed completely unnatural and unlike any experience with cats I have ever had. Our entire table was confused and questioned again if we were in some strange cat cult or, if while the waitstaff was possibly on uppers, that perhaps the cats were on downers. It just did not add up.

By all means, feel free to try the cafe and let me know if your experience is any different. I actually hope it is. The idea is special and great, and they actually provided nice quality food and drink with adorable touches. Just look at the tea sandwiches! But, at the end of the experience, no amount of cute little cat buns could make up for the awkward feeling I had when I walked out the cafe doors.

 

Lady Dinah’s Cat Emporium
152-154 Benthal Green Road
Shoreditch
London E26DG

English people genuinely love tea. Like really love tea. In kind of a “you have to see it to believe it” sort of way. I am often exploring the north and south of the county (outside of the London bubble) and believe me, English people love tea. I get offered tea multiple times per day and see teacups and tea trays and tea towels all over the place. It’s like the American coffee addiction on steroids that are made of politeness. So, it comes as no surprise that afternoon and cream teas are offered absolutely everywhere.  Experiencing one is almost a Rite of Passage. I have, and many, and unfortunately put the tea at The Ritz towards the bottom of my list.

The afternoon tea at The Ritz is held in their Palm Court. Now I’ve been to many a Ritz and many a Palm Court, so I can honestly say, this one is nothing special. Sure, it has a posh location, is set by the park, and was featured in the movie, Notting Hill, but following a recent visit to the Palm Court at The Plaza in Manhattan, this one just fell flat.

The Ritz’s Palm Court is sort of awkward. It is extremely bright, and not in a sunny screened-in porch sort of way, but more like a really uncomfortable office. The tea itself comes at the hefty price of £66 per person. This includes a glass of champagne, the usual assortment of cakes, scones, and tea sandwiches, and of course tea. The beverages were fine, but the edibles were almost inedible. I took nibbles of each so each one got a fair shot, but that was that. At the end of the meal, the servers come around with a beautiful “Celebration Cake” and offer slices along with an additional charge of £11. I thought the whole idea of the “Celebration Cake” was a little tacky and decided to quit while I was ahead–or at least before I got too far behind.

Don’t get me wrong, it is a lovely hotel with a charming staff, but London just has too many amazing afternoon teas out there to be able to place this one on a must-do list. Stay tuned to find out which ones actually make the cut, and don’t fall for The Ritz simply because, well, it’s The Ritz.

 (Afternoon Tea at The Ritz)

The Ritz London
150 Piccadilly
London W1J 9BR